Article written by Adrenia (c) 2012

This Article is also a part of the Pagan Blog Project.

For many of us, we weren’t raised up in a Pagan household. Instead we were raised up in other religions such as Christianity, which is a majority. Converting to whatever path you follow whether it’s Wicca or Asatru, or any other path within Neo-Paganism, every one of us faces the event in our lives where we tell our loved ones about our new found spirituality. All of us come from different familial backgrounds, some are lucky enough to come from families who are open-minded and respect other faiths. Others on the other hand are unfortunate to come from those that are the opposite. Whatever your background is know that you are not alone in facing your parents, siblings, other family members, and friends, and revealing to them your spiritual faith. Don’t feel alone, especially those who come from conservative family backgrounds. Know that there are plenty of others facing through the same problem as you and more that have overcome this obstacle, coming out to their family and friends, and letting go of that nagging aspect of their lives to not hide their spirituality any longer.

When one comes to Paganism after researching and learning, finally coming up to the point of dedicating themselves to their new spiritual path, knowing it is the right path for them, one always ponders on how to break the news to their family and friends. What does one say or do to inform their loved ones that they aren’t Catholic, or Mormon, or Jewish, or whatever spiritual background their family comes from, especially if they come from a conservative family?

First try seeing how they would react to small little things such as being interested in herbs, oils, crystals. Yes it seems simple enough and may not trigger any bad reactions but babysteps to see how their reactions and what their opinions are can help to your ultimate goal of telling them you are Pagan. Bring up topics such as Gods and Goddesses, what do they think, ask them what do they think of people who would worship different deities. Try watching a movie with them or show, that features something Pagan or Witchy related, casually comment on the topic and see how they react, what they say. If they seem fine and don’t see anything negative, try leaving out books. Again, when I say babysteps I mean babysteps. Just like what I mentioned above try leaving around books that’s simple. Books about myths, pantheons, crystal healing, herbs, reiki, tarot, runes, etc. whatever you are interested in and is a part of your path. Don’t leave around books about Witchcraft if you don’t know there opinion of Witchcraft is yet.

After the small little things then move on to the topic of Witchcraft. Just like how you brought up conversations about the small things while watching a movie or show, do the same on Witchcraft then move on to the topic of Wicca or whatever path you follow. If they start having a negative reaction, ask why? Why do they think its evil? Why do they think what they think or say? If they start asking why you are asking these questions just tell them you are curious, don’t start bringing up right there and then that “Oh because I’m a Witch,” or “I’m Pagan.” Take it slow unless you know your parents would be fine with that statement, don’t shock them into it.

You can also write a letter to them if you don’t want to talk to them face to face about your beliefs, especially if they may interrupt you. Write down everything that you believe in, why, and explain to them that your beliefs are not evil. After they read it at least they know your beliefs and you can sit down and have a discussion about it after.

My experience with coming out of the broom closet had its ups and downs but it eventually worked out in the end. Now I’ve never really been completely in the broom closet. I’ve always been open about my beliefs, I wore my pentacle around my neck in the open, and no one seemed to care. My own mother bought me the pendant that I still have now, when we were on vacation down in Maryland years back. Before that pendant I wore a long, red, swarovski crystal necklace with a handmade pentacle pendant made with a wire. I didn’t wear it all the time because I’m allergic to fake jewelry so I only wore it for a few days before taking it off.

While browsing a shop, I was looking at the pendants there and saw a Greenman one that I was thinking of getting and surprisingly my mom called me over and asked “What about this one?” In her hand was a simple pentacle pendant and I looked at her wondering ok does she know? Before then I never did say I was Wiccan, never brought it up, however she did see me wearing my necklace and has always been completely fine with it. She has seen one of my Witchy books before when I accidentally left it in the car but she never said anything. So I was surprised when she told me that she was going to buy me my first actual pentacle so I can wear it all the time without actually having to take it off because of allergic reactions.

Now like I said I’ve always been open about my beliefs and whenever one of my friends asked about the Pentacle I would always tell them the truth. I’ve had “Why are you wearing the Star of David?” “Why are you wearing the Devil’s symbol?” and so on. Of course after calmly explaining what it is and what is means to me they were all fine with it. Sure a couple were a bit more distant with me after learning I was Pagan, and I admit back then it was a bit hurtful to think that they are distancing themselves because of what I believe in, but I’ve learned that if they can’t get past that simple fact that’s make up who I am it’s not worth to worry about it.

However even though I was open about my beliefs, my family never knew even if I was wearing my pentacle. They never once commented on it which surprised me, especially for my dad who’s very conservative and religious.

Seems to be going good so far but there were times when my dad did harass me, not because of the pentacle or my beliefs but on Witchcraft. He knew how interested I was about it, and he condemns anything that has to do with Witchcraft, the supernatural, etc. He would say to me, “you are interested in being a witch? Huh? You want to be a witch? Why are you interested in all this Witchcraft nonsense huh?” He’s never out right said that its evil or it has something to do with the Devil, probably because he’s basing the negative view on Witchcraft based on the Philippines, and despite being religious he still is superstitious and believes in old folk beliefs. (Like a majority of Filipino’s).

Eventually he stopped that and he never said comments like that again until I finally told him after I turned 18, when he asked me why that I was refusing to go to church, and told him that I wasn’t Catholic anymore. He asked me was it Witchcraft? If you don’t believe in God what do you believe in then? And all these other questions that he asked which I answered.

At first he ignored me for a couple of days before finally talking to me again but he never brought up the topic again. I did write a letter to better explain what my beliefs were and gave it to them and after discussing a bit more everything has been well. He’s fine with my beliefs now and accepts it though he doesn’t want to know anything about it. My mom on the other hand was never a problem, she always knew though we never really talked about it, but she’s always been open minded and is pretty much like me except she’s a devout Catholic. She even told me one time how when she was younger her friends and family would call her “mangkukulam” a Tagalog word for Witch, because she would always be able to tell things that were going to happen and because her grandmother was a hilot, which is a folk healer that works with herbs and folk healing, which was a surprise to me when she told me. (No wonder why I’m the person I grew up to be. Haha).

My experiences with coming out of the broom closet, mainly with my family, was very fortunate unlike others who have experienced worse. Know your family and friends first before you do anything and remember that you aren’t the only one who has faced or will face coming out of tbe broom closet.